JANEY APPLESEED (A mostly-true story)

On Friday, my son woke up at 9 am and went to sleep at 5 pm. Saturday, he woke up at 3 am, went to sleep at 11 am and woke back up at 2 pm. It’s Sunday morning and he’s still awake from yesterday afternoon. He is a Man Without a Time Zone. If he keeps this up, he’ll probably find himself battling Christopher Reeve for Jane Seymour on the lawn of a grand seaside hotel, even though his elementary school class once had to cancel a field-trip to an apple orchard because Jane Seymour was filming a commercial there. Her heart was kind of closed back then, but now she has a contract to design jewelry and I hear she's all about Open Hearts.